Why I Refuse to Watch "50 Shades of Grey"

FAIR WARNING: Today's post is kind of PG-13.  So, kids, ask your parents before you read it.
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 I recently overheard a coworker of mine say she is so excited about 50 Shades of Grey coming to theaters that she can hardly wait.

I won't be at the theater watching 50 Shades on Valentine's Day.  In the words of Terri Clark, I have better things to do. 

"I could wash my car in the rain, change my new guitar strings, mow the yard just the same as I did yesterday. . . . Check the air in my tires, straighten my stereo wires, count the stars in the sky or just get on with my life. . . I got better things to do. . . "
(Shapiro/Waters/Clark)

I don't mean to sound judgmental, but I won't be seeing it the next day, either. Or even when it comes out on DVD and Blu-Ray. I refuse.  Maybe you don't care why, but I'm going to tell you, just in case. :)

I love my husband and marriage.    Years ago, before we were married, that man and I were asked to go to premarital counseling by the church we were attending.  That was so smart. 

            One of the things my counselor told me during those sessions was to never watch soap operas. That may sound legalistic, but it was such great advice.  (Nowadays, I bet she would have added the "The Bachelor" as well!)  On-screen "romances" like those aren't healthy or admirable.  They may look nice at times, with their grand gestures like weekend trips, armloads of flowers,  and helicopter rides.  But for the most part?  Those are some sick relationships.  I want a healthy marriage with a compassionate man who loves me and hey, I have that.  If I didn't?  I would wait for that.  I know I'm worth it.
             I would not be okay with my husband going to see a porn flick. Let me repeat: NOT OKAY.  So, why on earth would I expect him to be okay with me seeing this one?  I don't need to spend my hard-earned money to pay to watch someone else have sex.  I'm more than happy with the man I have, thank you very much.

 I love and am deeply concerned about the well-being of women and children around the world.   50 Shades of Grey is about a 22-year old woman losing her virginity and having a sexual relationship with an abusive, controlling, emotionally-twisted guy.  I don't want to say this, but let me tell you a gross, disgusting, reality about the world we live in.  What is done to consenting, adult women in mainstream film is often acted out on unconsenting women and children in real life.

            I have taught, counseled, fought for, advocated for, prayed for and/or defended literally thousands of children over the years who were at-risk for abuse.  I'm sick of that.  I'm sick of the society we live in acting like the sexual and physical abuse of other people is not a big deal.  I'm sick of the way pornography is used to desensitize people to the fact that this is a very big deal.  I've seen way too many scars, many of which last a lifetime.

            So, don't contribute to the problem.  Contribute to the solution. 

            Do you write?  Then write something better.  Want to work in the movies?  Make something better.  Don't see the movie, and then go one step further.  Instead of spending $8 (plus popcorn) to watch a woman being abused, send $8 to International Justice Mission and help stop some women from being abused. 

www.ijm.org

I love my God.  On her blog, "Makin' Lemonade," Callie Nelson shared some thoughts similar to mine on this topic.  (After you read mine, you can head over there to read hers http://makinlemonade7.blogspot.com/2015_02_01_archive.html.).

She wrote the following:

            "As a child of God, I can't.  I can't go to this movie and keep my heart completely open to Jesus.  In order to watch it, I'll have to close a piece of it off to Him, which for me, means that I'll be keeping a piece for myself.....but it's even bigger than that.  In closing my heart off to Jesus, I'm opening it up to Satan, period.   I wouldn't be able to watch all of the sex scenes and forget about them.  I would play them over and over in my mind and they would be ingrained in my consciousness forever.  I know it sounds like an exaggeration, but it would literally change who I am.  It would create a space for Satan to gain influence in my heart and mind, making it impossible for me to be the person I am when I'm totally connected to Jesus and my heart is FULLY His."

You and I could debate if attending the movie is "SIN."  Maybe you think that is a spiritually grey area (I would suggest you read Matthew 5:27-28, Job 31:1, Psalm 101:2-4 and Philippians 4:8 before you make that choice.)  But either way, why mess around in shades and shadows?  Wouldn't you rather live in true light?

I care about my heart.  I care about my husband's heart.  I care about my children's view of things and about the children of the world.  I care about our culture.  And I refuse to sell out for a couple of hours of cheap thrills posing as love.  It's a lie. 

This Valentine's, I plan to be at a party with my friends and family.  There will be dinner there, and dancing to a great band.  We will laugh and fight a little over raffle prizes and take some pictures.  We'll dress up and savor the moment and make some memories.  Ones we actually want to keep.

That's what love looks like.

You know, instead of polluting your mind by googling 50 Shades of Grey, maybe you should google "Casu Marzu."  Have you ever heard of it?

Brace yourself.  This is going to get a little icky.

Casu Marzu is basically a traditional Italian cheese that was made illegal. The cheese is not only soft and fermented, but decomposing into liquid.  It is considered by some to be a delicacy. 

It contains live insect larvae that are eating the cheese at the same time as the person.  The insects literally jump up to six inches in the air, while the diner is eating, requiring some maneuvering around them. Gross, huh?  Oh, there's more.

The rotting cheese actually burns tongues, can cause allergic reactions, leaves an aftertaste that lasts hours and oh, there's also this. . . the larvae can pass into the intestine undigested, then live and/or breed there, causing holes in the intestinal wall, abdominal pain, vomiting and bloody diarrhea. 

You want to know why they might eat something like this?  Here's one reason: They consider it an aphrodisiac. 

We won't dig into the question of who wants to sleep with someone who a) smells like decomposing cheese and b) is vomiting and has bloody diarrhea.  However, do you see why I brought up this story?

Italian chefs can put delicately cut strips of Casu Marzu on fine bread, pair it with a nice wine and say things about the aroma of the tears (oozing liquid) and its longstanding history.  They can talk about its power to enhance sex.  At the end of the day, you know what it is?  Rotting, maggot-infested cheese. 

Personally, that is not the way to my heart.  I'll take a nice crème brûlée, profiteroles, chocolate-dipped strawberries, raspberry cheesecake, flourless chocolate torte. . . or even some peanut butter cups and powdered sugar donuts.  Yeah, baby. 

And I'll take true love, too.  Not an over-hyped, dangerous and poisonous imitation of the real thing.  

^"Love is patient and kind. . . . it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth." 1 Corinthians 13:4-6 (ESV)

^"I will set no base or wicked thing before my eyes. I hate the work of them who turn aside [from the right path]; it shall not grasp hold of me." Psalm 101:3 (Amplified)
 
What do you think?  Do you plan to watch this weekend?  Why or why not?