So Tired

Some moments in American history have left deep indentations. . . . The signing of our Declaration of Independence from England. The Stock Market Crash. The attack on Pearl Harbor. The Montgomery Bus Boycott. The 1963 March on Washington. The assassinations of JFK, MLK Jr. and Robert Kennedy . . .

Some of those events stemmed from now-ended enmities. We are allies with Britain now. We are friends with Japan. However, the deep racism that led to white Americans killing black ones has never gone away. Laws have changed, which is huge and important. Yet, white people still kill black ones and raise their children to do the same.

To paraphrase Rosa Parks, I'm tired of it.

People keep saying that white silence perpetuates the problem. So let me say it loudly and publicly.

Racism is wrong.

Did you get that?

Racism is wrong.

Why does that even need to be said?

Yet, in our beautiful, great, amazing country, we still have to teach it and say it. People still believe that they are superior because of melanin differences they didn't even create. They had nothing to do with their skin color, yet wear it like an accomplishment.

The great Martin Luther King Jr. said,




He's right. So, I don't want my protests to be in hate. I check my heart, my thoughts, my anger. I don't loot stores, bash in windows, lie, slander and call names. I refuse.

Yet, I will be angry. I will be sad. I will speak out, in love. Love for Breonna Taylor. Love for George Floyd. Love for Ahmaud Arbery, Love for Botham Jean. For Aiyana Jones and for Akai Gurley. For all of my own friends and family whose skin is darker than mine. My heart aches for them.

So, what's a white girl, with a multicolored heart, supposed to do in a world like this? Buses, schools and drinking fountains are desegregated. The black community has the right to vote now. They can pursue any careers they choose. The 44th President of the United States is black. The richest black woman in the world, Oprah, is American. Yet, the killing here hasn't stopped. White people still kill black people.

How are we, as Caucasians, supposed to help stop this madness?

I don't have the answers. Far from it. But here are some things I have been thinking . . . .(and maybe, inwardly, screaming) . . . that I wish I could say to white America.

• Stop telling the racist jokes. Start with that. They're not funny. They're disgusting. Don't be disgusting--and especially in front of children.
• When someone else is telling the jokes, confront them about it or WALK AWAY. To sit there and tolerate that is to be complicit.
• Stop blurring the lines between politics and race. If you don't like Barack Obama, Condoleeza Rice, Ben Carson, Maxine Waters, Clarence Thomas, etc, . . . then talk about their politics, not their ethnicity. Leave that out COMPLETELY. If you can't do that, you might discover it is prejudice, not politics, that divides you.
• Raise your children to be comfortable around people with differently colored skin than theirs. Watch movies and read books that have black protagonists in them instead of villains. Let your kids have heroes that don't look like they do. Study art and listen to music from black artists. We made an intentional choice to live in a way that allowed for the brilliance of Will Smith, Frederick Douglas, Ella Fitzgerald, Lebron James, Michael Jordan, Lecrae--the list goes on and on--in the lives of our children. They grew up appreciating diversity. We see color--and we love it.

• We also have the hard talks with each other. We talk about the jokes we hear, the insensitive comments, the things on the news. We talk about the impact of politicians on POC. We confront each other if we feel one of us is out of line. We point out generational biases in each other. My kids have been able to see things in me sometimes that I couldn't see in myself. We talk about how to appropriately deal with racism in people we otherwise love and respect, how to confront them in kindness and humility. We talk about being pro-police, but anti-dirty-cop. We talk about the balance of being pro-peace and anti-violence, yet fierce in defense of people in need. We talk about how Jesus was Jewish--not white. How we are all made in the image of God. How Jesus died for all of us. How heaven will be populated with people coming from every tribe and nation. We talk about it.
• We include black friends and family in our thoughts, prayers and conversations. We invite ALL our friends to parties. This shouldn't even need said, but we don't have "token black" friends. We have friends. Period. If you're not someone's real friend, don't waste their time.
• As white people, we need to start thinking through scenarios and realizing when they don't make sense. For instance, when we walk among white strangers with no problem, but cross to the other side of the street when we see a black man. That doesn't make sense. There are a zillion scenarios like that. . .  Like when a white man ran through a neighborhood with a flat screen TV under his arm, and no one stopped him. Like when Ahmaud Arbery went jogging in the suburbs in broad daylight, and was chased down by men with guns. Think of that situation in reverse: What if the white runner (minus the television set) had been chased by three black men with guns and killed? Would we still say, "We don't know the whole story?"  Would we criticize what he was wearing, how he moved, and his behavior from three years ago? Would it take three months to get an arrest?  Ridiculous scenarios. Enough is enough. 
• Be aware that this isn't new. It isn't a resurgence of what has been dead for decades. It never went away; the civil rights movement didn't conquer it.  Racism has existed this whole time. We have been blind to it, but see it now, thanks to digital cameras, cell phones and the world wide web. People weren't pulling out cell phones to record video for social media twenty years ago, but that doesn't mean abuse wasn't happening. The Emancipation Proclamation was a huge push forward in the 1800s. The Civil Rights Movement was in the 1900s. Now, it's our turn. What are we going to do? Let's start by admitting the problem is real.

• Listen to your black friends. Hear their hearts. Hear their frustrations. I signed up for a webinar this coming week, from a black pastor speaking about the intersection of the Gospel and Race. (I would be happy to share that link with you.) I want to learn. My black friends understand this issue far more deeply than I do. Why do we talk so much about our own ideas, instead of listening to theirs? 
• Pray. Honestly, we can do all this to battle racism, but when it comes down to it, I"m a realist. The small actions of one person can reach only so far. However, my God is Almighty. He can move mountains. Sometimes, the Bible says, we have not because we ask not. Pray for justice, unity, and love. Pray, pray, pray. Read your Bible to see what God says about unity and pray some more.
• If you are a churchgoer, I would like to leave you with two things to read--a short comment from a white pastor and a longer poem from a black pastor. These really impacted me. I would love to hear if they impact you as well.

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"I had someone tell me this week that I’ve been speaking too much on racism, that they don’t agree with me and they are leaving the church. I long for the day that someone who doesn’t want to hear about racism couldn’t find a single church to attend, because every church has taken a stand and found its voice. Gods voice.
To not speak is consent."
--Brian McMillan

===

"I…
Can’t…
Breathe…

It’s a simple phrase
It’s just three words
Yet, the power of them
Said over and over again
Should have been enough
To alert those
Who were constraining him
That the force they were using
Was beyond unnecessary
It was cruel and excessive
And they should have backed off
To let him catch his breath
Instead, he now he’s now dead…silent
But we wouldn’t know what happened
Without the video speaking for him
Because, obviously, he can’t speak for himself anymore

I…
Can’t…
Breathe…

Birdwatching while Black
And, then comes the attack
Simply because he asked her
To put her dog on a leash
And though SHE came at HIM
She calls the police ON him
Screaming that she’s being threatened BY him
While he calmly films the incident
It was for his own protection
But he shouldn’t have to live that way
Nobody should
Videoing every movement that you make
All because, without it, your life could be at stake
Well, truthfully, even with the video
You’re not guaranteed you’ll go free
But one thing is sure to me
Something needs to change because
I’m at the point where, personally
I’m tired of hearing the words…

I…
Can’t…
Breathe…

She worked her shift and came home
Simply sleeping in the bed that was her own
And numerous bullets later, she’s gone
But life goes on as if hers didn’t matter BECAUSE…
We’re told to “Wait for all of the facts.”
I don’t know much
But what I do know is this
While we “wait for the facts”
I am now wrestling inside
Because, wherever I go
I feel like MY camera must be on
Ready to video my surroundings
So that, from beginning to end
The evidence will not be questioned

Dramatic, you might say
However, I see no other way
That I can make it today
Or my beautiful Black daughters and sons
Or my grandbabies that are yet to come
In this day and age
I shouldn’t have worry or dismay
Over whether or not they’ll make it home safely
Or if, even with video evidence, they’ll be believed
But this is reality in the nation in which we live

And, I’m at the point where I say almost daily
Dear Lord Jesus, please come quickly
You are the Only One who can bring true justice
But until You return
Move Your Church to reject this
Move Your people speak out against this violence
Without questioning or putting the VICTIMS on trial
Move Your people stop living in denial
We must face, without hesitation
That injustice is imbedded in the core of this nation
And Your Church can’t stay silent about racism and discrimination
May we rise up and say, “We will tolerate it no more.”
May this make us sick to our very core
And, I beg of you, People of God, speak up now
For, it’s just too much and I no longer know how
I can explain, yet again, why we must begin
To do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with Him

So Church, HELP ME BREATHE
Stand up and say, “No more!”
Reject injustice at its very core
Brothers and sisters, HELP ME BREATHE
Weep, wail, and lament
Over lives senselessly taken by evil intent
People of God, HELP ME BREATHE
Root out injustice at its core
Let that which God abhors
Be abhorred by you and me
Until the day we all stand free
And see the Imago Dei in all humanity
Then, and only then
Will we put a stop to the craziness
That fuels racism and injustice
But, until then, I’ll pray for you
And you pray for me because, right now…

I…
Can’t…

Breathe…"

--by Kelvin Walker